


Advice

by kurokobun



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Lame attempt at humour, M/M, mention of sixteen year olds having sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1552538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurokobun/pseuds/kurokobun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko had never expected to call up Kise Ryouta for any form for advice, nor had he ever expected it to actually work. In which, Kuroko and Kise have a conversation regarding sex, and Kise is actually not hopeless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Advice

**Author's Note:**

> First KNB fanfic; I'm sweating, I'm panting, and I'm too afraid to say much more other than: be kind? And hopefully I did not mess up completely.

Kise is already there when Kuroko pushes the door to Maji Burger open. The blond teen is ready to tackle him with overrated enthusiasm, but Kuroko likes to think he’s known him long enough to know how to avoid Kise’s, sometimes, too intense signs of affection without using an ounce of energy. He therefore steps slightly to the side so Kise almost collides with the door, but, thankfully, he manages to catch himself by shooting his hands out before impact. The blond glances behind his shoulder with the sort of pout only Kise Ryouta can make and whines. “Kurokocchi; so mean!”

Kuroko doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t really need to seeing as Kise recovers quickly. He straightens up, eyes practically glowing with curiosity, as he comes all up in the shorter boy’s face. “Why did Kurokocchi want to talk to me anyway?” He then asks, white teeth flashing as he serves Kuroko a brilliant smile. A better question would be _why_ Kuroko had contacted him, but Kise doesn’t want to make the other change his mind and call someone else. He’s way too curious and excited to let whatever this is go.

“Could we please sit down, Kise-kun? I’d like to order a vanilla shake.”

Kise really wants to protest — if only for the mere fact that his curiosity is getting the better of him —  but Kuroko is already in line to order. He returns shortly after with a vanilla shake in hand, joining Kise by table behind his and Kagami’s usual seat, which is currently occupied. Kise waits impatiently for Kuroko to be done with the sipping of the shake, and almost thank the heavens out loud when Kuroko places it on the table, meeting his eyes in the process.

“Soooo?” Kise prompts, leaning forward as he rests his chin on his folded hands. “What did you want to talk about, Kurokocchi?”

“Sex.”

Just as Kuroko likes to think he knows Kise-kun rather well by now, the same goes for the blond miracle. Yet, Kise is completely caught off guard by Kuroko’s characteristic bluntness. He splutters, face instantly taking on a nice shade of red, as he looks at the deadpanned face of his former teammate.

“W-wha— _eeeh_? Why does Kurokocchi want to talk about _that_?” Kise’s blush is gone, however, when a thought suddenly hits him and he leans forward, worry flaring up in his golden eyes. “Do you and Kagamicchi have problems with your sex life?” He whispers. He would’ve thought Kuroko and Kagami had already ‘gotten down to business.’ Especially since the pair had been going out for _months_ now, but perhaps he’d been wrong to assume Kuroko and Kagami were sexually active?

“No,” Kuroko answers, taking another sip of his shake.

Kise blinks, the redness of his cheeks having dimmed somewhat. He’s looking more than a little confused as he tries to solve this puzzle in front of him. “Are you… _not_ having sex?”

“No.”

“Does Kurokocchi not enjoy it?”

“No. That is not it.”

“ _Oh_ , is Kagami-kun… not as _equipped_ as first assumed? I mean, he and Aominecchi have the same shoe-size, and almost the same height, so I suppose I just thought they weren’t too different in the _nether_ –“

“ _No_ , Kise-kun. That is not it. Kagami-kun is very well-equipped, thank you.”

“Then _what_?” Kise throws his hands up in frustration, seemingly forgetting the topic at hand is supposed to be discussed quietly, but at that moment he notices it. The slight redness of Kuroko’s cheeks, the subtle biting of his lip — a certain _look_ in his eyes. Kuroko is _embarrassed_.

Kise replays everything he remembers about his old teammate, but he still can’t _ever_ recall seeing Kurokocchi like this. It’s actually so fascinating that he forgets to insist on anything, and just kind of _looks_ at him. Then he practically squeals, and reaches for the phantom player’s hands, grinning like a madman. “Kurokocchi, you’re being _shy_! It’s so cute!”

Kuroko pulls his hands back, and now his reddening cheeks are even clearer. “Kise-kun, please, I am not. I just need some advice.”

If Kise wasn’t beaming like the energetic sun before, he _definitely_ is now. He makes a noise that Kuroko seriously cannot decipher the meaning behind, and cups his own cheeks as he gushes loudly. “Kurokocchi really wants _my advice_?!”

Kuroko’s previous embarrassed expression has changed into his regular passive one, but this time he looks even less impressed than usual. Kise-kun is really too much sometimes. He reaches for his shake, inhales the sweet content lengthily as he ignores Kise-kun’s over-the-top enthusiasm, before he puts it down again.

“Kise-kun, if you’re not going to listen…”

“No, no, no! I’m all ears, Kurokochhi! All ears!” Kise leans onto his elbows, desperate to make the phantom player stay. “What do you need?”

“Advice.”

“ _Right_ ,” Kise grins. “What _kind_ of advice?”

Kuroko sighs, and looks down for a moment. He really hadn’t thought much over how to go about it. Usually, he is very blunt. He doesn’t find a lot of topics embarrassing to discuss, nor does he fail to see the problem when Kagami-kun calls him ‘cheesy’ or says he’s ‘full of clichés.’ He says what’s on his mind, and he doesn’t think there’s anything _wrong_ with it. Unfortunately, he has reached a point where he can’t say exactly what he wants to say, because… well, he’s not sure what he wants.

And Kuroko doesn’t really know why.  He’s never had this problem before; that he wants to talk to Kagami-kun about the process of their relationship, but he feels self-conscious about doing it. He supposed it’s because this is his first time being with anyone this way, the first time he feels so close to someone, and yet there’s something more too. Kagami-kun’s opinion of him, of _them_ , matters more than anything has ever done before. He wants them to work. He wants them to be perfect. Flawed, but… perfect. As perfect as they _can_ be, he thinks.

“You and Aomine-kun are very intimate,” Kuroko says after a while, and Kise almost chokes on his own spit at the meaning behind that statement. “It’s not like Kagami-kun, and I aren’t as well. Our sex life… it’s enjoyable, but it’s also very…” The shorter teen pauses, before he finds the right words. “… gentle. Slow.”

Kise’s face is red again as he blinks several time in a matter of seconds. “Ehh? What’s wrong with gentle? I mean, sometimes I really wish Aominecchi _would_ be gentler in bed, because truly he can be _quite_ a handful, but–”

“There’s nothing wrong with gentle, Kise-kun. I just don’t know how to prompt Kagami-kun into getting a bit more _aggressive_. I… don’t know how to go about the process of our sex life.” It feels easier to talk now, even if he can tell he is still blushing slightly, and the way Kise-kun’s entire expression turns smug — practically lecherous — does not help.

“Ahhh, you want Kagamicchi to be more _aggressive_?” Kise giggles, and twirls some golden hair around his finger. He tilts his head and smirks. “Funny, I always pictured he would be, but now that Kurokocchi says he’s _not_ – well, I’m surprised.”

Kuroko ignores that statement, and instead asks: “How do _you_ seduce Aomine-kun, Kise-kun?”

As Kuroko watches his golden haired friend, he wonders that if he went to get a napkin right now he could possibly wipe that grin off of Kise-kun’s face. The copycat taps his cheek, shining even _more_ than before; it’s a miracle he’s not blinding every other costumer in this place.

“Well, there are so many ways, Kurokocchi! You can dress up in _costumes_ ; you can put on lingerie, you can do strip teases, lap dances, _oohhh—oooh_ one time I didn’t wear _anything_ but an apron and I was making Aominecchi breakfast! He was like an animal, Kurokocchi! It was _amazing_!” Kise pauses then, and tilts his head with a smile as he looks at a conflicted Kuroko. “But you know, Kurokocchi, all those options of seduction are really nice and all, but I think you should come to me for ideas later instead.”

Kuroko tilts his head. “Later?”

“Yes, Kurokocchi.” Kise leans back in his chair then, arms crossing over his chest. “Your relationship to Kagamicchi is very new. You are both very inexperienced, but with Aominecchi and I it was different. We’d both played the field when we got together and we knew what we liked and disliked and we talked about it and compromised and could progress very quickly. So, you and Kagamicchi need to find out what you like and what you don’t, and just work your way up at a slower pace. _That’s_ my advice!”

Kise can tell Kuroko is extremely taken aback by said advice, but he can also tell Kurokocchi is thinking his words over, so he tries not to take the blue haired teen’s surprise _too_ personally. Suddenly, Kuroko is smiling. It’s tiny, but it’s _there_ , and Kise feels _extremely_ proud he is the cause of it.

“Thank you, Kise-kun.”

Kise winks. “You’re very welcome, Kurokocchi!”

As Kuroko stands up, Kise follows. Before the shorter teen is able to protest, the golden haired basketball player has brought him into a crushing hug, making Kuroko squirm in annoyance. Still, Kise has given him quite some useful advice; he can let him have this. But _only_ a little. Soon he is able to pull away and say goodbye, thankfully before Kise can suggest for them to spend some _more_ quality time together (Kuroko just does not enjoy shopping as much as Kise-kun does).

“I’ll give you some very good websites for you and Kagamicchi once you’re ready, Kurokocchi!” Kise practically sings as they part ways.

“ _Goodbye_ , Kise-kun.”

On his way home he can’t help but feel… excited, and a little bit relieved. And… possibly a bit stupid. Kise-kun’s advice makes more sense than anything else; he should’ve been able to come to that conclusion himself.

All he and Kagami-kun needs is communication and some experience, and before he can tell Kagami-kun what he wants he needs to figure that out. The only way they can do that is by experimenting.

He highly doubts Kagami-kun is against that particular idea…

  **\--**

Aomine isn’t particularly _against_ eating dinner with another couple. He and Kise have done it plenty of times with Tetsuya and his new light, even if he has to admit that’s only tolerable in the beginning and usually ends in disaster, because he and Kagami does just not get along. And Kise and Tetsu are _both_ wrong when they say they are practically the same. Because they’re _not_.

But back to the point, he is not _totally_ opposed to the idea of having dinner with Murasakibara and his boyfriend, Himuro, because unsurprisingly they are both more tolerable than Kagami. Still, the fact that Kise made him wear such formal clothes makes it hard to tolerate _anything_ , because sometimes he thinks these guys forget that they are _sixteen_ and it’s really weird they’re not just meeting at a burger joint or something.

Grumbling under his breath, Aomine pulls on the collar of his shirt, merely grunting when Himuro greets them at the door. He groans quietly so only Kise can hear when said pretty boy announces Midorima and Takao are already _there_. Aomine had not been aware they would be joining them. Kise gives him a pat to the shoulder as Aomine leans his face against his neck; said pat is supposed to be more of a warning than comfort, but Kise’s hands are way too nice to ever feel threatening.

At least Murasakibara’s desserts are always the best.

“Ah, hold on, Himuro-kun! I’ll help you!” Kise announces after a delicious meal, taking the plates from Himuro’s hands.

“Thank you, Kise-kun.” Himuro smiles, and then groans. “Oh shit. I need to call Taiga about our plane tickets for the trip to the US. Just gimme a sec.” Himuro disappears into his bedroom, and Aomine has to smirk at the way Murasakibara just _looks_ at him. Who would’ve thought such a kid at heart could obviously have so many obvious, primal urges?

“So, how exactly did _you_ agree to this?” Aomine asks, glancing away from the violet-haired giant to the green haired shooter. He seriously cannot picture Midorima actually agreeing to a meal with himself, Kise, and Murasakibara. Especially not when Midorima seems overly fond of pretending he has never given an ounce of care about them.

“Oh, Shin-chan was forced by yours truly.” Takao grins as he takes a sip of his soda.

Aomine quirks an eyebrow with a smirk. “ _Really_? Elaborate, Takao. Please.”

“ _Takao_ ,” Midorima murmurs through gritted teeth.

“Mido-chin is blushing,” Murasakibara lethargically notes.

“I am _not_!”

Aomine supposes they are _slightly_ more amusing than television. Just then Himuro returns with a puzzled expression marring his face. Kise joins them as well, tilting his head at Himuro. “Himuro-kun, everything all right?”

“I just had a _really_ weird phone conversation.”

“You called Kagami, I don’t see why you’re surprised,” Aomine murmurs, humming as he puts one of Murasakibara’s cookies in his mouth. He’s surprised said giant hasn’t devoured them all himself yet.

“No, but… Taiga was _moaning_ in-between… words.” Himuro looks even more disturbed as Kise claps a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from snickering. “It… actually sounded like he was having… _sex_.”

Kise bursts out laughing, practically falling to the floor as he clutches the chair he’d been leaning on (which is occupied by Takao who looks more than a little confused by what just happened). Aomine looks just as disturbed as Himuro, Murasakibara looks _bored_ , and Midorima just seems irritated because he’s been given some very useless information he does not give a single damn about.

“Kise-kun, do you know something?” Himuro raises an eyebrow.

“I t-think— _ahahaha_ —t-that Ka-Kagamicchi and Kurokocchi h-h-had a little _talk_.”

As another laughing fit overtakes Kise, Aomine claps him on the back, exchanging a confused glance with everyone in the room, except for Midorima who still looks irritated beyond words. Said green haired teen turns to Takao. “Can we _go_ now?”

“Are you kidding, Shin-chan? As soon as Kise breathes again this dinner is _finally_ getting interesting.”

Midorima buries his face into his left hand. “… I’m surrounded by idiots.”

**\--**

“Kagami-kun… that was amazing.” Kuroko’s face is thoroughly flushed, a thin layer of sweat spread over his forehead and chest as he turns to look over at his panting boyfriend. He pulls the blanket a bit further up, and smiles due to Kagami’s expression. Because, really, it makes it so very obvious that he hadn’t been the only one enjoying himself.

Kagami takes a deep breath, meets Kuroko’s gaze and flicks the blue haired male gently on his nose with two of his fingers. “I can’t believe you made me pick up the phone when you were blowing me off, jackass! Tatsuya’s going to ask me about it tomorrow, god, _fuck_.” Kagami covers his face with a big hand, groaning displeased, and Kuroko knows the grin he is sprouting on his own face is probably disturbingly wide.

“Such crude language, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko shifts a bit, his leg stroking up Kagami’s as he leans over to put a soft kiss to the redhead’s temple. “I recall you actually finding that rather… _accelerating_.”

Kagami’s face is so red it matches his hair perfectly; Kuroko has to admit he’s never found the taller male more attractive than right now. Flushed, sweaty… naked so he can see every part of his body while he gives him that _look._ He feels his boyfriend’s face against his neck, and chuckles as Kagami asks him to promptly _shut up_.

Having to endure that talk with Kise-kun had turned out to be more than worth it after all.


End file.
